This Is Me

Growing up, I always wanted to "fit in." To be part of the cool, popular kids. After awhile I noticed that in order to fit in, I had to alter myself. To pretend to be somebody I wasn't.

This became a habit. I moved around quite a bit as a kid. It was hard for me to show others the true Laurel, because I was afraid that people wouldn't like me. This was eating me inside. It was a slow death. I was losing sight of myself and all I knew was to be something I wasn't to "fit in." Only few friends and my family knew me.

After awhile, there were people who knew how to knock down the walls around me and showed me that I can trust them. They know who they are. I am eternally grateful for them.

Now I am here to tell you that I am proud of who I am. People may take it or leave it. I am done pretending someone I am not just so that I may feel a sense of belonging. It doesn't work that way. I have learned that we don't need to apologize for who we are. If people have a problem for who we are as individuals, it is their problem, not yours. Be true to who you are and the right people will come along.

People often ask me how I would describe myself. Here are some things that make up Laurel.
-Loving, compassionate, caring, good listener, funny, loyal, a fighter
Now here are some things that Laurel enjoys to do:
-Comedy Improv, sports, singing in the car, dancing like nobody is watching, tell people jokes. The list goes on, but you got the gist.

I have come a long ways to actually figure out myself. Would I trade all the hurt and pain I went through to get to where I am today? No. Why you may ask? Because it has shaped me into the person I am today.

Now you, yes you. The one reading this. I want to tell you that you are worth it and are enough. Be proud of who you are. There is no shame whatsoever. Life is hard, but you are a strong fighter and will come out on top. Invite others to be part of your life. Show them love and let them love you.

These lyrics from The Greatest Showman puts all of my feelings into words. Read it carefully and know that you belong and that you are glorious.

I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are

But I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades
And reaching for the sun (we are warriors)
Yeah, that's what we've become

Won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
Gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

And I know that I deserve your love
There's nothing I'm not worthy of
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
This is brave, this is proof
This is who I'm meant to be, this is me

Look out 'cause here I come (look out 'cause here I come)
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me