Overcoming Being Paralyzed With Fear: Aligning My Own Will to Heavenly Father's Will

 I've had a lot of reflection the past 10 days or so and had experiences that helped me realize what is most important in life. Now I'm not sure why I am being vulnerable again. Maybe it will help one of you or it will be just for me to read back on one day.

Almost 3 years ago, I started to realize that I was not happy with myself. That smile of mine was often fake. Even though I was surrounded by people, I felt alone. I felt it was just me and a never-ending dark and dreary cloud around me. I felt that something was missing. I realized that I wasn't living up to my end of the bargain to remember Jesus Christ and maintaining that relationship with Him I promised on my baptism day many years ago. 

I wrestled with the thought of coming back to Jesus Christ, but I had that fear. Fear of how on earth He would ever forgive me and the mistakes I've made. I let those thoughts go to the garbage for the next little while and carried on with my life choosing not to let Jesus Christ in.

In January of 2018 I decided to start anew and live a new life I guess you would say. I decided to let Jesus Christ back in my life. Then all of a sudden, fear crept in again. If you think about it after every good decision, fear always creeps in. There is opposition in all things. I had a lot of fear.

I knew I had to change, but I didn't know how. I was afraid of changing, because I built my life the way I was living. 

The fears I had were things like, "Will people in the church welcome me back if they ever found out what I was up to? How long will the repentance process be if I decided to try to be in full fellowsip with the church I grew up in? Do I have to be excommunicated then be re-baptized later?" 

All I wanted to do was Heavenly Father's will for me. I knew if I obeyed what He instructs me to do, then it would eventually become my will as well. 

Time passed by then I just decided to talk to my Bishop. I told him everything what I was up to and what I missed. I didn't tell anyone for months that I was working on my repentance process. I wanted to make sure I was doing it for myself and nobody else (I was known as a people pleaser).

Fear kept on creeping in everyday. I love acronyms. I had 2 choices with fear. Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. I ran for so many years. Not necessarily from the church, but from Jesus Christ. I decided I couldn't live like that any longer so I decided to Face Everything And Rise with Jesus Christ.

I felt The Lord help me throughout the repentance process. His Atonement/Sacrifice is real. The Lord directed me to come back to church, because He knew that is where I would be the most happy. He was right. I still have fears everyday, but in all honesty I know fear doesn't come from Heavenly Father. It comes from the adversary.

Even though I am still tempted, I try to stick to and remember what makes me the most happy. I have had phenominal friends and family who truly know what I went through and they are there helping me just by listening and just being a good friend. 

Since then, I have gained a lot of faith instead of fear. I have learned that faith and fear cannot coexist together. When I have faith, I don't feel fear. And when I feel fear, my faith is lacking. 

Nothing makes me more happier than to know that Jesus Christ is by my side everyday and helping me along this hard thing called life. I know Heavenly Father hears and answers my prayers as well as yours. 

Heavenly Father has helped me be the person I am meant to be and continuing to help me. I am forever grateful. I know He will provide. He never fails. 

I know The Lord will direct you and your own journey to your happiness. Whatever that may be. You are loved unconditionally by me and especially by Jesus Christ. Never forget that!

 

Facing the Future: My Coming Back to Know Heavenly Father Story

Before I dive into my story, I just wanted to let you all know that this is my story and my own story only. If you think my story will help those you know, that is great. But please don't go telling them to be just like me in my own journey. For everyone has their own journey to their own destination. :)

I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in San Diego, California. Little did I know the hardships that would come my way. I got sick while in the MTC. I got sent to the ER. They thought I had appendicitis. It was a tender mercy that my Uncle Brian was in the ER that night. He helped comfort me and I was able to talk to my parents for a couple of minutes. I had to stay an extra week in the MTC due to being sick. The MTC had me stay with a different district that was in the same zone as me. Little did I know that Heavenly Father used me as an instrument in His hands to help those missionaries. Some of them said I was an answer to their prayers. When I went to San Diego, things were going well then, I was sent home 4 weeks later. It was extremely hard to accept it. I got the opportunity to be a temple worker and work with the sister missionaries at Utah State. I found it was a tender mercy that one of the sister missionaries I already knew. We worked together in the MTC. I was home for 6 months. Uncertain if I would ever go back out. I got comfortable just staying at home, but the thought of going to school at that time simply didn’t feel right. After much hard work, I got to go back. I was feeling a lot better and ready to get back to work in San Diego.

Things were great for the first 2 weeks, then I started to feel my illness coming back. I did all I could to work through it. 3 months later, after talking with my mission president, we agreed that my work as a Missionary was complete. It was the most difficult thing ever. A lot of thoughts were going through my head. What will my family and friends think of me? What will the church think of me? How can I move forward and face ahead with not accomplishing what I hoped I would. I remember coming down the escalator at the SLC airport. Here I was feeling that I let my family down. My mom was the first person to embrace me. Her words will always stay with me. She said, “Laurel, we are so proud of you. We love you.” That is all I needed. I did good for the first 6 months of being home.  After those 6 months, I got inside of my head and believed the adversary when Satan said, your work in the church is done. You are a failure, because you didn’t finish the 18 months as a missionary. You are better off away from the church. At the time, I thought those thoughts were mine.

I started to not attend church. Shortly after, I would be involved in things that I imagine that made Heavenly Father cry. I would be surrounded by some people that made me believe that there is no way back to the temple and that Heavenly Father didn’t love me. Here I was as a missionary 6 months prior telling my investigators that Heavenly Father loved them unconditionally and I was starting to believe those people telling me that I wasn’t loved because of my wrong-doings. I was in the wrong crowd. I sought “happiness” elsewhere. I stopped going to church and stopped going to the temple altogether. I thought I was happy. Without having to worry about living the commandments and the covenants that I made with Heavenly Father. By doing so I was distant from my family. Little did I know at that time, I have caused much grief and pain for my family. There were barriers. It was not their fault. It was my doing. Any subject that had to do with the Church, I didn’t want to be part of. My knowledge of my testimony started to diminish. I was part of the party scene for a while. I thought I felt free. Little did, I know at the time I was trapped. I was trapped in the lies of Satan for 4 long years. Lies that I thought were truths. 4 long years of emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain, grief and unhappiness which Satan manipulated as happiness.

There was a turning point in early 2018. As I just stated that I was believing the lies of the adversary. The breaking point was when the adversary told me I have 2 options. 1. Live away from the church for the rest of my life or 2. End my life. I found it extreme. So extreme, that the thought of kneel and pray to Heavenly Father. I haven’t prayed in so long and felt unworthy to pray. I hesitated, but then I felt a gentle loving push and kneeled and started to pray. I prayed to Heavenly Father late that night. I said, “Heavenly Father, I can’t do this anymore. I am so sorry what I have done. Do you love me? I need to know that you love me. I need direction. I felt I was in my own Gethsemane.”

When my prayer was over, I just didn’t move, because I was in tears and exhausted from the possible most important prayer up to date. Then moments later, I felt the feeling in my bedroom change. From feeling confusion, sadness, grief and pain, I felt the love that I was longing for. Heavenly Father said to me, “Laurel. My daughter, my child, I love you. I need you to come back to the church. You have great work to do.”

Alma 37:36-37, Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

37 Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.

I am grateful for what Heavenly Father told me that night. That didn’t diminish my fear of coming back to church. Then I realized what worth is having is hard to get. My heart began to soften after that night. What helped is that I began to see and feel the love from my leaders, friends and family. There love was there the whole time. I was just blind for a long time from seeing anything good.

I was a fence sitter for a long time. There were times during those 4 years that I thought about coming back to church. Then Satan would chime in and convince me otherwise. Then I realized being a fence sitter is literally uncomfortable and it brings a lot confusion.

 It was hard for me to go to church. But there was 1 person through her light and Christ-like love that pulled me to church. Heather Petersen. She served as a relief society President in my ward for quite some time back in 2017. She was my visiting teacher at the time too. She knew what my past was like. She loved me anyway. She would often sit with me at church. She told me that I was loved from Heavenly Father just by the way she lived. She made me feel welcomed at church. I always looked forward to seeing her at church.  She always offered to help me in any way that she can. Then I finally decided to make the decision, okay I am coming back to church full-time because I feel happy at church. The happiness I felt before I went wayward. 2 days after that decision, Heather passed away from a tragic car accident. I was distraught. How am I supposed to face my future in the church without her by my side?

I would like to share my dream I had with her shortly after she passed away. I had a dream I was walking alone at Provo City Center Temple. I often go on walks to clear things out of head and when I am trying to figure out things. I had my head down then I noticed someone was there. I looked up and there was Heather in all her glory. She said, “Laurel. You can do it. I will be there every step of the way. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are there for you too.” We embraced and then she left. She said she has work to do.

She kept her word in offering help to me. I often felt her near among other angels in helping me come back to full fellowship.

D&C 121: 7-9

A week later, I started the repentance process to get my temple recommend back. I felt the love from my Father in Heaven, my family, friends and Bishop Manning as I was starting to make my way back to Heavenly Father’s home which is the temple.

In April of 2018, my sister Alison and I went to the Provo temple. The first time in 4 ½ years since I entered the House of the Lord. We did a session together. Then when it was my turn to enter the Celestial Room, I felt a whole lot of love.  I knew that Heavenly Father was there with me. He said, “Laurel, my daughter. Welcome home. I am so proud of you. I love you.” The Atonement of Jesus Christ is for everybody. It is encouraging and life-saving and full of mercy. It is not only for repenting and healing; it is also empowering. With the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can overcome anything. We can overcome grief, pain, uncertainty, sadness, job losses or whatever else it may be. When things seem to always go wrong in our lives, just know that Heavenly Father never stops working to make our lives better. We go through hard times so we may be purified in order to meet our Heavenly Father one day and be able to embrace Him.

James E. Faust said,

“The Divine Shepherd has a message of hope, strength, and deliverance for all. If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet. There is a divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day. They prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless.”

Atonement:

Without the Atonement, I would think it would be impossible to face my future. What a great gift from our Savior Jesus Christ to go through what He went through, so we may have a happy future.

Since coming back to the temple, I have received many blessings from serving in my calling and in the temple. There are many times that the adversary slips in and tempts me to give it all up. He likes to remind me of my wrong doings almost every day, but I choose Heavenly Father’s side every time. Why? Because true Happiness comes from living the Gospel principles. Satan knows he already lost. Church leaders have taught us that the victory is already won by Heavenly Father and His followers. Satan knows of the goodness we have done in the pre-earth life, so he will do anything he can do to us from succeeding. I hope that we choose and continue to choose Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. For they are the true leaders when it comes for us to face our future. They will never lead us astray.

We have the opportunity to close the door on past failures, disappointments, pain, grief, and unhappiness. We need not dwell on past failures. Remember the lessons of the past, they prepare us to face the challenges of the future. The secret to your future is hidden in our daily routines.

Let us help each other face the future with light, service, compassion and Christ-Like love. Heavenly Father’s plan is the plan to follow. You are always worthy to pray. You are always worthy to receive a blessing. You are always worthy to apply The Atonement in your lives. Why? Because you have the ultimate divine title of Divine Son or Daughter of Heavenly Father. Have we received His Image in our countenances? He is counting on us to help each other back to His presence. What greater role or calling. You are doing better than you think you are. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You are always loved.

Choose how to live today that will help us to face the future with faith, hope, charity, confidence and love. It is okay to ask Heavenly Father and ask Him to assist you with facing your future. The Lord has a role in each of our lives. We need to trust Heavenly Father. He knows us personally and knows us by name. He is aware and wants to help us. He is interested in YOUR future and who we are becoming. There is a saying that says, Endure to the End. Although that is something good to live by, I like to change 1 word in that phrase. Enjoy to the End. The Plan of Salvation teaches us that this life is not the end. There is no end. So, we definitely have a marvelous future to face, enjoy and look forward to. A future of glory and forever happiness with our loved ones and Heavenly Parents.

 Some key points I learned about facing the future: 

1. There is nothing to be afraid of. With Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ by our side and The Holy Ghost as our constant companion, we are always led to the righteous path.

2. Trust Heavenly Father. He knows better. He knows the way.

3. If you feel stuck or something in life didn’t go as planned. Please don’t fear. For Heavenly Father has something greater in store for you.

4. Prayerfully prepare today for your future. So that one day, your future self will thank you for what you have done today.

5. Please don’t let pain and grief from your past stop you from facing the future. One of the adversary’s tactics to get us down is to constantly remind us of the negative, painful things that happened in the past. We are much stronger than he is. We can always conquer evil.

I know Heavenly Father knows you and loves you. It is my prayer that each of us will face our own futures with the help of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost. Let us help each other to our divine future in glory living with our Heavenly Father as our ultimate goal. The Gospel is my happy place. It is what gets me through hard times and be able to look to the future with excitement and joy. I hope it is the same for you as well. Please believe me when I say you are not forgotten.

 “Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

-Jeffrey R. Holland

Perspective

Here I am on a beautiful yet chilly Sunday afternoon trying to put my feelings into words. Life has been hard lately. More often than not I feel trapped or stuck when I am going through hard things. I am sure many of us have felt this way.

The best word to describe this year for me so far is Perspective. A lot of hardships that happened in my life has put things into perspective. For example, I have two friends pass away this year in two separate car accidents.

Perspective #1. Live everyday fully. We don't know if there will be a tomorrow.
Perspective #2. LOVE others regardless of who they are.
Perspective #3. Laugh with others for it makes us all feel better.

Live. What does it mean to truly live? I have been thinking a lot about this. The way I look at it is pretty simple. Live in such a way that your life may be something you are proud of. It is just fine to be proud of yourself. No shame in that. I choose to live my life with service. For that is what brings me happiness and joy. I tend to text people to come to mind to see how they are doing to show that I care.

Love. Love is a big topic. What do you think about when you hear the word love? Is it something with a person of interest? Is it a chick flick that you tell everyone about? Is it loving people no matter who they are like Jesus Christ would? Love to me is important. I make sure to tell the people I love, that I love them so they know. Never assume that people already know your love for them. Tell them. Words of affirmation can go a long way. I believe love can go a long way. It can change so many lives for good. Love and Kindness reminds me of a simple lyric from the musical Wicked. "Because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

Laugh. Laughter is simply the best medicine. It has helped me in many hard situations in my life. Life is meant to me enjoyed, not endured. Let's all have a happy time together and laugh together. That changes things.

I have come to realize that it is okay if life is hard. Hard things shapes us for the future. We have two options when it comes to dealing with hardships. There are two types of fears. The first one is Face Everything and Rise. The second one is Forget Everything and Run. It is easy to feel just wanting to forget our hardships and pretend it isn't there. Just think of it. If we face our difficulties and rise, we have been changed for good. We are born as strong human beings. It has been this way from the beginning of time.

I am grateful for trials. Not because they are desirable. Only because they help and shape us to become the people who we are meant to be.

May we strive to reach out more to those who need a helping hand. Live more. Love more. Laugh more.

Love,

Laurel

This Is My Year

Towards the end of 2017, I was thinking that 2018 is going to be the best one yet. I felt it within my bones that 2018 was going to be unforgettable. Unforgettable in a way that all sorts of good things were coming my way.

Now 2018 is here and it has been the hardest month of my life. I am dealing with health problems that have scared me. I know that I am in good hands to get things taken care of. Yet, that doesn't eliminate my fears with my health.

Then on January 15th, my dear friend, Heather passed away from a car accident. I was in shock, denial and upset that she was taken away from us here on earth. The only thing that keeps me going is that I know she is with Heavenly Father and is at peace.

Last week was a week of many lessons. Love is the center of everything. Love is bigger than any fear. There was a quote in the movie Soul Surfer. "I don't know why terrible things happen to us sometimes, but I have to believe something good is going to come out of this."

How true is that quote? It is very common that we all have trials. Sometimes we don't know why certain things that happen to us. But something that I do know is that Heavenly Father is aware and there are lessons to be learned. And that in itself is a gift.

This is my year. Yes it has been a rocky start, but I know this year is going to be a good one. Why you ask? Because I choose to make it a good one. I am not going to wait around for others to make it good. I am in charge of making it my year.

Even though I've had setbacks, I have decided that losing myself in serving others is the best way to make it my year. I've noticed that trying to be positive is the way to go. To notice the simple good things in life. To seek the good in others and to see others the way God sees them. A smile can go a long way. And that it why this year is my year. Live, Laugh, Love.

This Is Me

Growing up, I always wanted to "fit in." To be part of the cool, popular kids. After awhile I noticed that in order to fit in, I had to alter myself. To pretend to be somebody I wasn't.

This became a habit. I moved around quite a bit as a kid. It was hard for me to show others the true Laurel, because I was afraid that people wouldn't like me. This was eating me inside. It was a slow death. I was losing sight of myself and all I knew was to be something I wasn't to "fit in." Only few friends and my family knew me.

After awhile, there were people who knew how to knock down the walls around me and showed me that I can trust them. They know who they are. I am eternally grateful for them.

Now I am here to tell you that I am proud of who I am. People may take it or leave it. I am done pretending someone I am not just so that I may feel a sense of belonging. It doesn't work that way. I have learned that we don't need to apologize for who we are. If people have a problem for who we are as individuals, it is their problem, not yours. Be true to who you are and the right people will come along.

People often ask me how I would describe myself. Here are some things that make up Laurel.
-Loving, compassionate, caring, good listener, funny, loyal, a fighter
Now here are some things that Laurel enjoys to do:
-Comedy Improv, sports, singing in the car, dancing like nobody is watching, tell people jokes. The list goes on, but you got the gist.

I have come a long ways to actually figure out myself. Would I trade all the hurt and pain I went through to get to where I am today? No. Why you may ask? Because it has shaped me into the person I am today.

Now you, yes you. The one reading this. I want to tell you that you are worth it and are enough. Be proud of who you are. There is no shame whatsoever. Life is hard, but you are a strong fighter and will come out on top. Invite others to be part of your life. Show them love and let them love you.

These lyrics from The Greatest Showman puts all of my feelings into words. Read it carefully and know that you belong and that you are glorious.

I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are

But I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades
And reaching for the sun (we are warriors)
Yeah, that's what we've become

Won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
Gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

And I know that I deserve your love
There's nothing I'm not worthy of
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
This is brave, this is proof
This is who I'm meant to be, this is me

Look out 'cause here I come (look out 'cause here I come)
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

You Can Do Great Things

Often times has human beings, we tend to underestimate ourselves and the abilities we have. I am an expert at this. I'll admit that I question my greatness more often that not. Everyone has greatness to offer in this world. People may tell you over and over of how awesome your greatness is. Speaking of personal experiences, that greatness won't be able to come to life unless YOU believe that you have greatness to offer. If we are to do great things we must always be motivated to take bold risks. If you're feeling timid or uncertain, find the inspiration to do what you are meant to do.

There may be some fear of failing. People often ask themselves, "Who am I? What do I have to offer?"  There is so much uncertainty in this world. People get nervous about the unknown. I am here to tell you that this is common. Things are not made to come across easy. You can do hard things. By doing hard things, this contributes to your greatness. It shows what your character is made of. When you believe in yourself, good things happen. 

The following lyrics are from the movie, Prince of Egypt. I know that these lyrics speak the words that I've been looking for to say for so long. This describes what people may go through everyday in life. Having that fear then rising up on top to do great things in this lifetime.

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood,
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could...

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proved in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
With heart so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

We are not here on earth to fail. If you feel you have failed, try again. Awhile ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about some concerns about succeeding in different things. He showed me this video that Will Smith put out. He was talking about not being afraid to fail and not being scared to show your greatness. That video has changed my life my friends. I am here to tell you that YOU, yes YOU, YOU have greatness. You just gotta believe in yourself. Go forward with a smile on your face and hope in your eyes and go after that greatness and do something great today!

Jesus Christ Knows

Often times when things are hard, I just want to give up on things and call it quits. This is how my younger self mind set would be like.

Over the years, I have learned that giving up is not an option. Heavenly Father didn't send me down here to quit. But to keep trying. One of my favorite quotes is from Jeffrey R. Holland. It says:

“Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead.  Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

Sometimes we don't understand why things happen the way they do. No matter what you may be going through, know that Jesus Christ knows. He knows you. He knows what you are going through. He is there to carry you through the good and bad. He is there to lift you. He is there to comfort you. You are never alone. Never forget that. Just hold on. The light will come. 

"And when it seems as if your end is drawing near

Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the skies"

Don't Give Up. You are loved. There is always someone there for you. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ knows and loves you perfectly! 

I Am Me and That Is Okay

I don't know what I am going to talk about so I will just start typing of what comes to mind. There are times in life where we may ask ourselves, " Am I enough? Do I have to change the way I am to please others? Do I have worth as a human being?"

As many of you know, I fight depression and anxiety everyday. This has gotten me into trouble with school before. Having no motivation and not caring about school is what my days at BYU-Idaho were like. I was not myself. I wasn't social as I used to be.

Fast forward, here I am a student at UVU. My 3rd university. I tend to think sometimes, I should have graduated college long time ago. Then I realized and told myself something that changed my life forever. This phrase came out of nowhere. My thoughts said, "Laurel. You are progressing. Do not compare yourselves to others. Everyone has a different journey than you. Live it to the fullest and you will be happy."

And I thought to myself, whoa. I have been tearing myself down all these years and not really realizing it. I should pay more attention to my thoughts. Who cares if some people your age graduated college and have a nice career. It's okay to not be like others. Be yourself and everything will work out fine.

Another thing I learned is that you do not have to change yourself to please others. Be true to who you are. Don't hide that sweet spirit within you.

Everyone has great worth. A lot of people tend to put themselves down a lot. Things happen. You, yes you who is reading this, you have great value. Don't let others convince you otherwise. Everyone has something to offer in this world. There is so much good out there. You just may have to look for it and it may take time. But if you really want to see the good, it will be shown to you. Smile. Hug. Live. Laugh. Love.

Do not give up. You keep trying. Fight the fight. The fight may take awhile to win, but I assure you, you will come out on top. The worlds need you, because nobody can live up to you as yourself. Once again, I repeat You are progressing. Do not compare yourselves to others. Everyone has a different journey than you. Live it to the fullest and you will be happy.

I am me! You are you! And That Is Okay. 

Facing The Giants

I am going to write about Facing the Giants. No, not about the movie. About our own personal "giants."

I can't speak for anyone else, but I can speak for myself. Growing up, I had many giants in my life. One of the biggest giants I had was to believe in myself. Believe that I, Laurel have self worth. That I belong and that I am loved. 

It also took me awhile to learn how to stand up for myself, because I don't like confrontation. Once, I learned how to stand up for myself, many experiences came about where I had to stand up for myself. Whether it was to stand up for my beliefs, leaving a class where they showed a really bad movie or turning down a bribe of money to say bad words. The list goes on.

There were plenty of times where I had to face giants. The biggest one out there is Satan. He is the biggest Giant of all. He is the master of lies and they are not for our own benefit. He doesn't want us to be happy. He is the one that creeps the bad self worth thoughts in everyone's minds. I have often asked myself, how do I overcome this big giant in my life? How can I show him that he will lose the fight every time? 

The main thing for me to overcome this giant is to serve others and telling them that I love them. I can't assume that they already know. That is why I tell them. I love people. 

Another way I defeat my giants is that I remind myself to hold on Laurel. The light will come. 

"When you feel trapped inside a never-ending night.
If you've forgotten how it feels to feel the light,
If you're half crazy thinking you're the only one
Who's afraid the light will never really come"

Hold on, the light will come.

I love these lyrics, because it means that you are never alone. There will always be light after darkness.

In the words of Elder Holland, "Don't you quit. You keep walking.You keep trying. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

If you ever feel like giving up, please don't. Line upon line. Precept upon precept. There are many times I feel like quitting, but then I think of my family and friends who love me. Love is always there. Love is powerful.

Lastly, find happiness. What makes you happy? 

"It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness."

Know that YOU are worth it. Your own personal giants do not define who you are. You are worth much more than that. You are special. You are loved. You are a fighter. Know that happiness is always there. It has never left your side. 

Love, Laurel

LIVE LAUGH LOVE!!

Live Laugh Love. You may notice that these three words all start with the letter L. But it has a whole new meaning. These three words have changed my life for the better. There is a quote that involves these words. "Live every moment. Laugh often. Love beyond words." Of course this is a simple quote, but if you ponder after awhile you might figure out how it can help and change people for the better. It helped me greatly when I took that quote into action. Lets break it down.


First is LIVE. When I was younger, I thought that life wasn't important until I experienced some difficulties that caused me to get sick a lot. It was hard to bear. I thought I was alone and that nobody was understanding of what I was going through. It reached to the point where I had to ask God for help..which I should have done in the first place. This is where my biggest lesson I ever had began. I learned not to feel bad for myself. It lasted for awhile and I was just feeling miserable. Nothing was getting better with that. So after awhile, I learned to be happy of what I was going through. Not that it was desirable, but of what I may have learned from it. Trials are tough, but with the help and Love from God, it can make our trial(s) easier to endure. Living every moment has changed my life. Life is short. So I decided by doing good deeds for other people are very important and it teaches us to LIVE every moment.


Second is LAUGH. I believe that Laughter is the best medicine for anything. It creates a good time. Sometimes I can't stop laughing to which the point my ribs hurt and I can't breathe. What do you think about the word laughter? I hope its good, because its the best thing ever in my opinion. Especially when you know of someone that has an infectious laugh which makes it even better. By Laughing everyday or often, it creates a beautiful thing for life. It sure does make life easier to live and helps our trials a lot. I love laughter.


Third is LOVE. What do you think about when you hear the word Love? Some of you may think of your significant other, family, friends, or even chick flick movies. Whenever I think about love, of course I think about the sappy love there is, but I also think of loving people beyond measure no matter who they are. It changed everything for me, when this became a habit. I believe that this good habit will never leave me, because its just who I am. I love all people. Its a beautiful feeling to love them. People are my drug. I am addicted and I love to be around them which creates my love for everybody. That might sound strange, but its so true. By having love for people and wanting them to have joy in their lives is life changing. There is good to be seen in everyone. Imagine what this earth would be like if people started to spread more love to one another. I often imagine what it would be like, but until the contention is gone, I just keep smiling and say Life is full of amazing opportunities that we can be part of. Life is short so might as well make it amazing and have love towards other people no matter who they are.

Well, this is my little thought for the day. I hope you enjoyed it. Love you all!

Love, Laurel